30!

I remember when my mom turned thirty; I had just turned seven. I remember like it was yesterday. My dad had told my mom that he had a partners' dinner meeting, so my grandmother picked me up from school and took me to my aunt's house. When I got there, my aunt took me in her room and opened a big box on her dresser. The cake inside read "Happy Birthday, Brenda!"

Confused, I looked up at Nanny. She told me that there was no meeting, but Dad was giving Mom a surprise party. I was SO mad at him for not telling me! (He actually apologized for this last night, saying that was his one regret. I said, "Are you kidding?! I so would have blown it!") Anyway, I remember the clothes I wore, the people who were there. I remember my Papa waiting and watching by the door, all antsy, ready to turn off the light at the exact right moment. I remember the look of shock on her face when she walked in the door.

Well, now it's my turn. But the party was not a surprise, which is FINE by me. Instead, I got to pick a few of the friends closest to my heart to join my family for a wonderful dinner at my mom's house. I come from a divorced family, and if I didn't already know that God was sovereign, I would surely learn it each time one of my children celebrates a birthday. All the grandparents come and are at peace with each other, and it's a kodak moment for God's glory and power to heal. Last night was no exception. Families who haven't technically been family for years came to celebrate with me. My friends gave up evenings with their children, hired babysitters and travelled from near and far to be with me.

And wonderful it was. My mom cooked a huge gumbo, potato salad, and garlic bread, although I only ate a small bowl because I ate SO much spinach dip and baked brie before dinner! She made my favorite cake, which I think became a lot of people's favorite cake last night. Coby and Kessie brought their big ole Vita Mix to make pina coladas for us...Kessie and I looked forward to this all week! My children got a big kick out of their mom having a birthday party. They were quite bummed on Friday night when I told them that all of our friends were coming, but none of THEIR friends were. Then I told them Uncle Jeff and Aunt Katherine would be there, and they quickly decided that Uncle Jeff single-handedly made up for the fact that there friends couldn't come. My dad was also a real trooper and spent much of the evening in the garage getting pelted with tennis balls.

Then came presents. I certainly didn't expect gifts from my friends, but they were so sweet to spoil me. I got a gift card for a manicure and pedicure, new pajamas (that I'm currently wearing and LOVE), a precious coffee/tea mug, sets of coffee and espresso cups (do my people know me, or what?), a beautiful new sweater, lovely notecards, gift cards to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, as well as extra money from family to choose what I'd like. More importantly, they gave me their time, and I am truly grateful.

Then the big gift came...my new laptop! I was so shocked that I'm not sure I really reacted. Phil historically does not shop for me. I tell him what I'd like, and he gets it. So this was a super sweet gift because he did it on his own, and my kids didn't even spill the beans. I'm not sure what he was thinking letting them in on the secret, but I guess he has more faith in them than I do.

One of the guys told me last night that turning 30 was hard for him; every year since has been fine, but that initial goodbye to the twenties didn't sit too well. I thought about that all evening and this morning. Here's what I think:

I'm glad to say goodbye to my twenties, although they were great. I married in my twenties, had children, bought our first house, had another baby. More than that, God grew me and stretched me, especially in this last year, in ways I never could have imagined. He has drawn me close to His heart, and has reminded me over and over again that His heart is the safest place to be. This last year, I have spent more time with Him as friends lost babies to miscarriage, as one lost a baby in heart surgery, and as other friends birthed more babies. I spent one day at the hospital waiting for a friend to give birth and that night attended the wake of a seven-month old. Job's verse "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord" took on a whole new meaning in my heart. I was reminded that only He knows what is and what will be for His glory and the good of our souls. And I can rest in that.

So this morning, I'm sitting in my new pjs, writing on my new laptop, drinking my decaf with creme brulee creamer out of my new mug. It's been a good morning. I think I'll keep 30 around for a while. I'm not sure what God has in store for me in my thirties, but I know that He knows so that's good enough for me.

If my thirties will bring more grace, deeper relationships with family and friends, new friends, more babies, and will bring me even further into God's heart, then I'm so there.